雅思6分作文范文的解析

　　大家是否想了解自己为何不可以拿到雅思大作文的原因呢？零基础雅思5分要多久？下面老师来为大家说说雅思6分作文范文评析，期望可以给考生们备考雅思大作文带来帮助。

　　雅思6分作文范文评析：

　　Band 6

　　Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

　　Nowadays,purpose of education being changed in Korea.There are some people who think that competition in children should be made,also others believe that children who are taught to co-operate as well as become more useful adults.There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.

　　To begin with,what is good if a sense of competition in children is made?They could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the competition.To prove this,in Korea,it is popular-even common now-to have a tutor who come to student’s house to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money.They learn faster than what they learn at school.Furthermore,only the highest 40%can go to the good quality highschools and colleges children learn as much as。

　　work together to develop each other.therefore,I want parents and teachers to educate children concentrating on co-operation,not compete and ranking them.

　　问题分析：

　　从论证大主题的角度而言，该篇后面的收尾是co-operation更重要的成立的，但这位考生在文字数量分配上缺乏了规划，分配给competition的文字明显要多于给co-operation的，如此便给了考官一个非常合情合理的借口扣分，是相当遗憾的啊。

　　写作建议：If it is your preference,give it more reference.

　　若你更认同那个观点，那便在这个观点上多写点吧。

　　若我们进一步看下Body段里的细节内容，事实上这位考生的语法功力与逻辑论证能力比上面那位5分同学还要差，但是这篇文章将题目里的两个方面都提到，把这些除外文字总量上这一篇文章叫上两篇都有优势，因此还要强调下数量真的也很重要。

　　以上带来了雅思6分作文范文评析，希望文章里的这些信息考生们能认真的阅读。

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